Category: Said by a Friend

Sweet. I'll tell the cat to prepare his butt for visitors

“Sweet. I’ll tell the cat to prepare his butt for visitors.”
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 Original Sentence  September 8, 2023  0 Comments on “Sweet. I’ll tell the cat to prepare his butt for visitors.”
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If he turns up murdered some day, I won’t be surprised, sad, or innocent.

“If he turns up murdered some day, I won’t be surprised, sad, or innocent.”
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 Original Sentence  August 23, 2023  0 Comments on “If he turns up murdered some day, I won’t be surprised, sad, or innocent.”
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“I fell asleep for a second, then my brain beeped.”

“I fell asleep for a second, then my brain beeped.”
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 Original Sentence  August 16, 2023  0 Comments on “I fell asleep for a second, then my brain beeped.”
4 (2)

“I fell asleep for a second, then my brain beeped.”

“Oh no! My favorite trans Instagram chicken has broken his neck!”
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 Original Sentence  July 28, 2023  0 Comments on “Oh no! My favorite trans Instagram chicken has broken his neck!”
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“You’re trying to cover your tits with the paper…”
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 Original Sentence  April 13, 2023

“I’m not going to get my dad’s ashes on my dress in Cuba.”
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 Original Sentence  November 19, 2022

“My lorgnette keeps popping open at the most inconvenient times.”
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 Original Sentence  May 3, 2022

“‘No I didn’t wreak havoc at the toilet,’ he said smirking.”
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 Original Sentence  April 6, 2022

“I would have expected Gumby to be better at taking a bullet.”
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 Original Sentence  December 17, 2021

I would have expected Gumby to be better at taking a bullet.

“My ham is doing pushups while my great uncle spits in the dogs food.”
0 (0)

 Original Sentence  July 14, 2021